Have you ever had a paper cut? They are often straight seemingly innocent cuts, but can be pretty painful, especially when you consider that they come from such a small, seemingly innocent object! They can be pretty deep too! Paper cuts often happen accidentally and have a way of bringing awareness when we are doing things in a mindless way. Perhaps ‘paper cuts’ are what we need when we are seeking to develop intimacy in our lives?
I recently had a run in with the sharp metal edge of a gutter being repaired in my yard. While picking vegetables in my garden (with sandals on in a construction area--perhaps not a good idea?) my foot bumped into the gutter's edge. I noticed a quick piercing pain, but continued to pick the vegetables--despite the pain. It wasn’t until I felt moisture in my shoe that I paused to notice that my foot was gushing blood.
Although a little deeper than a paper cut, I learned a few lessons that have helped me in my intimate life.
Stop when you feel the pain. I kept moving when I felt the pain in my foot, instead of pausing to notice. When we find painful moments in our intimate relationships, it is wise to stop when you feel pain. There may be a gushing wound behind the pain, that needs some care.
Take a moment to cleanse the wound. Whether it is gushing or a paper cut with very little bleeding, cleansing is a vital part of healing as it removes the bacteria and germs that can later cause infection. In relationships, the same is true--taking time for cleansing is vital!
Put pressure on the wound--To stop the bleeding in my foot, I put pressure on the wound and although it hurt it served a purpose. Applying pressure to the wounds in our intimate relationships can be painful too, but it serves a purpose-- it stops the bleeding.
Check in-- After putting pressure on the wound, I applied a bandage. A few hours later, I removed the bandage to check in. The blood still ran and was not clotting, enough to be concerning so I decided to go to the emergency room. Checking in is necessary to determine what the next step should be. Had the blood clotted, an emergency room would not have been necessary.
After what seemed like an eternity in the emergency room (as is the case with many emergency rooms--especially in the African American Community), I was seen by the doctor. Five hours, four stitches and a tetanus shot later I was back home recovering. Despite the pain, I learned a valuable lesson. As the doctor repaired the wound, he noted-- its a good thing that it is a ‘straight cut-- It will close up more easily, heal faster, and leave less of a scar.' Let this be the case with our intimate relationships, may all cuts be straight and may we care for them in the way that God leads.
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